Old-head hotline: original synthesized telephone ring, receiver clicks, and unintelligible cartoon mumble, created for this project with procedural audio synthesis. No third-party sound samples and no cloned or impersonated voice. Duration: 6.55 seconds. Ring windows: 0.12–1.06 and 1.48–2.42; pickup: 2.65; mumble: 3.03–5.68; hang-up: 5.94.